Memories
by Castle Anthrax
Summary: En-route to Republic space, and the Exile finds herself lost in memories of better times.


Hey, Castle Anthrax here. This was a little something that popped into my head after checking out what this months DCC was all about. I'm too much of a coward to actually post anything there, but enjoy checking it out from time to time. This months challenge was called 'One Night Stand'. Yeah, I think you all know what that alludes to. But this is not smut. I'm not capable of writing that without giggling like a child.

Anyway, I must thank my beta reader, **the sixth turk**, as she has really whipped this particular piece into shape. I tell ya, first person present tense is a real pain to keep straight, but I think with her help I managed.

So without further rambling on my part, on with the...disclaimer. Yeah, I would love to own a pink pony, a purple dragon, and Star Wars, but we all know it will never happen. Onwards, to the story!

* * *

I sit here, looking out into the blackness of space. A never ending line of far off stars and worlds pass by my line of view.

The sound of HK threatening T3 barely registers, as it is so commonplace.

"She really needs to do something about that droid," I speak aloud to no one. With a shake of my head and a small sigh I continue on in my thoughts.

Republic space is only moments away and I feel butterflies in my stomach at the prospect. I find myself wondering what has changed.

I slowly let my senses reach outward. T3 has managed to get away from HK and is making his usual rounds.

_'That one servo is still sticking slightly,' _is the first thought to come to mind.

HK seems to be brooding, if droids are capable of that, in the garage. He's upset at the lack of anything to kill. I'm glad I'm no longer 'Master', but I don't particularly care to be called meatbag. At least he's no longer asking if I need to be terminated.

Finally my senses come to rest on my closest friend in the entire galaxy as she lays sleeping in one of the dormitories. Her mind is abuzz with dreams as she remembers a time from her past when all seemed well.

Her happy thoughts bring _him _to mind, and my time spent doing my part in saving the galaxy. I look around the empty cockpit and sigh.

The seat next to me, _his seat_, remains empty. I can't bring myself to sit there. Strangely enough, she can't sit there either. She claims it has too many memories, and it isn't _her_ seat.

I nod knowingly, as it isn't my seat either. It holds the memories of others, of times long past. Good memories of quiet, peaceful companionship, and boisterous bantering.

_He_ always comes to mind in this room. His personality has left an imprint on everything, from the faded buttons and switches to the soft worn leather of the pilot's chair.

It's strange how I remember the small things about him. Especially when I'm alone. His smell is always at the front of my memories. A unique smell, not completely unpleasant. More of a mixture of soap, blaster oil, and leather. A smell that brings back memories of being safe, of being loved.

Those were dangerous memories only a few short weeks ago. Memories that had to stay buried for fear of showing any sort of weakness.

Slowly, one by one, I pull out my memories and dust them off. Each one is as new as the day it happened. I smile briefly as they flash through my mind.

But one stands above the others. One that is full of passion, and yet also full of pain.

I fail to push that memory away, and suddenly, it's upon me. A memory so vivid and full of emotion that it's almost real.

The soft lighting of the cockpit lends to the dreamlike quality of this particular memory.

Suddenly his warm breath is on my bare neck causing the small strands of hair to waver and tickle me. Shivers race down my spine at the feeling of his broad, bare chest so deliciously close to my body.

I relish in the feelings that wash over me as I let the memory run loose through my head.

His movements are slow and languorous as his strong arms wrap around me in a backwards embrace. His cheek is rested upon my head.

I feel him loosen his grip and without warning, I'm facing him. His deep brown eyes are hazed over with a want that I'm familiar with. The longer I stare into his eyes the more I feel that want overtake me.

He leans close and I anticipate the kiss that must surely be coming.

The smell of wine is on his warm breath as he exhales. The pleasant scent caresses my face as I feel my breath hitch in expectation.

My eyes flutter closed as his hands make contact with my sensitive skin. The calluses on his fingers are a welcome feeling on my face, as is the heat.

His other hand is slowly moving through my hair as he pulls my lips even closer to his own.

"Will you regret this?" comes his soft whisper.

The feelings that overwhelm me are too difficult to sort out. I can barely tell if they're my own.

My eyes open slightly and communicate my feelings, before I push the rest of the way forward and kiss him. All the tension that had accumulated between us is being poured into that one kiss as it quickly becomes heated.

I feel his hands on my body, loving caresses become interspersed with the frantic pulling of clothing.

Soon, the warm feel of his skin, the taste of his mouth, the smell of his body is all that fills my senses. In this one moment I am complete.

My spirits soar at the feeling, and in my mind the galaxy can wait. I had given so much of my time, and myself that surely I deserved some sort of happiness.

My smile faded as the memory continued on.

_'If only it could stop there,' _I mused silently.

But as all things in my life, the good must be tempered with the bad. All things in proportion, all things equal.

We lay there, utterly spent. His arm was draped over my bare stomach, the other sprawled over the rest of the bed.

I slowly sat up and his arm slid down my still sweaty body to rest on my thighs. The movement didn't rouse him and I grinned slightly at his sleeping form.

The soft glow of the lighting reflected off his moist skin in the most tantalizing way. It was with great self control that I didn't wake him to feast on his body once more.

I slowly made my way out of the bed, pausing as he stirred slightly at the sudden change, only to fall back into a deep slumber.

I quickly gather my things, leaving behind only the data pad with my good bye, my favorite saber crystal, and a ring that I had gotten years prior from my father before leaving to join the Jedi.

I smile wanly as I looked him over for what might very well be the last time.

I took a moment to commit everything about this night, about him, to memory. From the way the light played off his muscled body, to the way his hair hung across his face.

Our first time together, and perhaps our last, would forever be marred by my leaving. But it was one of those things that had to be done. He wouldn't let me leave him behind, and where I was headed was someplace _even I _didn't want to tread.

But others were counting on me. A weight that I didn't want to bear, but did anyway.

As I snuck out of the room, a lone tear escaped my eye. Quickly wiping it away, I headed for the _Hawk_ and beyond that, the unknown.

That feels like it was ages ago. Almost another lifetime.

The memory of that night brings tears to my eyes. I blink them away with a heavy sigh and adjust our course for the nearest known hyper space lane.

With only moments before entering hyper-space, I tentatively open my bond with him. Not so much that it would even be noticed unless he was actively searching, but enough that I could get a sense of him.

I smile at the familiarity of him, as the _Hawk_ enters hyper-space.

_'Soon,' _was the one thought that came and brought a smile.

* * *

I felt the slightest tingling sensation in my mind and smiled. She was coming home, to me.

"Hey, are we gonna get on with this?" The man across from me brings me back to the here and now.

"Of course friend, of course," I answered as I flipped my next card.

* * *

You know the drill.

C.A.


End file.
